Why I got back together with my ex💔…fitness tracker

It’s not you, it’s me… Actually, it was both of us.

It was May 2020, and I had been locked down in my 1 bedroom apartment for almost 2 months. Nearly every waking hour, my fitness tracker watch gave me a little nudge that I had been inactive for the past 60 minutes, and didn’t I want to get up and move?

Yes. Yes I did, watch. Thank you for reminding me.

But also, no. No I didn’t. Thanks for reminding me.

I wanted to move, but not within the confines of my small apartment–a path worn into the carpet where I had taken to pacing for the past 2 months in lieu of exposing myself to COVID.

Finally, after a slight mental breakdown (one of many, at that time), I realized:

I didn’t need this watch to tell me I wasn’t moving as much as I wanted to.

I didn’t need this watch to tell me my steps were WAAAAAY down compared to 2 months prior.

I didn’t need this watch to tell me how few calories (it guessed) I was burning.

I was HYPER AWARE of my fitness–or lack thereof.

So I took it off.

And it has sat in a bag with other sundry technology things since then.

That is, until last Friday.

After nearly a week of contemplating–both whether or not I should wear it again, but also, where that bag could possibly be–I finally (found &) decided to wear my fitness tracker again.

Why I do not recommend using fitness trackers to most of my clients

Because since then I have created the principles of Intuitive Movement, and I recognize that wearing a fitness tracker is sort of an “advanced maneuver” for folks who have a strained relationship or are in the process of trying to build a healthy relationship with health & fitness.

Toxic Fitness Culture teaches us:

• To NOT listen to our internal body’s wisdom
• That external sources are the experts of your bodily experiences
• That health & fitness “success” is literally measured in numbers and stats
• That perfectionism is the only way to achieve good health
• That your activity/energy should be nearly identical from day-to-day
• That there is a correct number of steps you should be getting every day

Guess what fitness trackers prioritize and therefore teach us is most important?

• ALL OF THOSE EXACT SAME THINGS

Why I decided it was the right decision for me

I have done enough work around all of those things–and more importantly, what they mean about me, which is absolutely nothing–to know that those messages, those insistent reminders, that language WILL NOT trigger me to fall back into the dreaded self-loathing downward spiral of “I’m not doing enough for my health.” So I know I’m inoculated from that propaganda.

However, between the season turning gray and sunless, and my brain running on super charge mode for the past 6 weeks, I have noticed I sort of forgot that I exist in a body.

Like, literally, I feel like I’m just a brain floating through space. Or more specifically, a brain floating in front of my computer, then I blink, and 4 hours has gone by. 

(Y’all, I cannot even begin to tell you the number of hours I’ve accidentally lost being in “the flow state.” Great for creating and feeling mentally fulfilled. Less great for drinking water and using my joints in any way.)

And ya know what I think might help me be present in my body right now?

A watch that nudges me when I have been inactive for an hour.

Not because I need to get in steps so that I can burn calories to lose weight.

But because my brain needs a little help remembering that I also have a body.

Are fitness trackers right for you?

That’s a great question! I don’t know the answer, but I have a few questions that can help you figure it out for yourself:

• Do you have ideas about “good” vs “bad” movement? (Types of exercise, amounts, intensities, etc.)
• Do you have rules about what types of movement “counts” as exercise?
• Are you prone to perfectionism, chasing numbers, being a “completionist”, or getting gold stars?
• Do you tend to not hear, understand, or respect your bodily cues & signals, and therefore push past your limits–either on accident or on purpose–in order to “keep up”?
• Do you use movement to “make up” for food eaten or a previous lack of exercise?

If you answered “Yes” to any of those questions, I would recommend investigating that deeper before committing to wearing a fitness tracker. Because if you think your physical activity is a measure of your worth, then it’s your mental health that’s going to take a major nosedive.

But this is by no means a ruling on whether you should or shouldn’t wear them, or whether I think they’re good or bad. (In case you’re new here, I don’t believe in “shoulds” and very few things are factually good or bad–and watches CERTAINLY don’t make that cut.)

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If you have any questions, or want any clarification about my thoughts, questions, or suggestions, just reply to this email. I’d love to chat with you about your wearable fitness tracker, and how you can make it a useful tool for you!

TTYL,

☮💜Deanna