Still relatable?
I
am not a community organizer. This is not my forte, nor do I claim any expertise in the area of activism.
But I am a forever-student, and I’d like to share another tool that has helped me many times over the past few years that might help if you feel (understandably) stuck in the hopelessness pit of despair.
…
When it comes to coaching, the first thing I do with my clients is validate & normalize what they’re thinking & feeling.
Example: “It makes total sense that you would feel helpless when witnessing an ongoing genocide, because you think there’s nothing you can do to stop it.”
Very normal. Very valid.
Take all the time you need to feel your feelings.
Second, I try to offer a different perspective.
BUT IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!
(If you think I’m saying that I would suggest that genocide is okay, then please read on, because that is not what needs the perspective shift…)
Borrowing again from Dr. Kristin Neff’s studies of compassion, this perspective shift is from isolation -> common humanity.
Example: “As an individual, it makes total sense that you would feel unable to make a difference; that you don’t know what to do next. This is an experience A LOT of people are going through and are feeling stuck in the same way…
I wonder if this is actually part of a predictable pattern that others have already observed & studied and might have some resources or suggestions so that you can get help finding your next steps?”
Of course you don’t know what next steps you should take in these circumstances! This is completely out of the norm for most of us!
AND!!!!!!!!!
You don’t have to figure it out all on your own! (But it makes total sense that you think you would/you didn’t even imagine that this was something you could ask for help with.)
**********
In our culture, another oft-needed perspective shift needed is one of: rugged individualism -> collective community care. (Hmm, sounds a lot like what Dr. Neff was talking about… Coincidence? I think not.)
That’s why today I’d like to share with you Dr. Barbara J. Love’s Framework for Developing a Liberatory Consciousness.
From this new perspective, we can see how TOTALLY NORMAL it is to feel stuck in this cycle, AND we can now see what she suggests as the next step in our process.
- Can you see yourself somewhere in this process?
- Does seeing it laid out like this help you feel like there is a path forward?
- When you think about it from this perspective, does it change what you think and how you feel about the situation?
(There’s no right or wrong answers. They’re just reflection questions to determine if this shifted anything for you.)
To remind you of last week’s e-mail, does this help you feel more comfortable living in the BOTH/AND of it all?
- Yes, this all feels very overwhelming
- No, that doesn’t mean I am powerless
- Yes, I have a lot to learn
- No, that doesn’t mean I’ll never learn enough to understand
- Yes, this is new to me, and I might make a mistake
- No, that doesn’t mean I should wait until I’m perfect to act
Again, truly, I hope you have the resources, skills, knowledge, and community to help you take care of yourself and others at this time, I hope the liberatory consciousness framework helps, and I wish you all the love and care in the world!
| TTYL, ☮💜Deanna |
| “WE MUST TRY NOT TO SINK BENEATH OUR ANGUISH, HARRY, BUT BATTLE ON.”-Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, written by the raging transphobe who doesn’t deserve our time of day |
